"I appreciate your applause, but I don’t do it for applause. I do it for cash, it’s much better."
There is no English equivalent for fuck off, because, it is english, fuck off.
"On pears: They’re ripe for half an hour, and you’re never there. They’re like a rock or they’re mush. You think, I’ll take them home and they’ll ripen up. But you put them in the bowl at home, and they sit there going: No! No! Don’t ripen yet, don’t ripen yet. Wait til he goes out the room. Now ripen! Now now now!"
Eddie Izzard, on pears.
Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
"A lot of people say to me, "get out of my garden""
I love this.
"The famous man looked at the red cup"
Stewart Lee on books.
"It’s spelt Raymond Luxury Yacht, but it’s pronounced Throat Wobbler Mangrove."
Raymond Luxury Yacht, Monty Python Flying Circus